Government announces Operation Sovereign Data

humour

Prime Minister Tony Abbott and Attorney-General George Brandis today announced a new government initiative known as Operation Data Protect. This nationwide program will act as a data backup service for the nation, relieving the millions of Australians with connections to the internet from having to worry about safeguarding their data.

Mr Abbott reveal that the scheme would be rolled out later this year and would retain 2 years worth of data for every internet connected Australiaa. “People are afraid. Their precious memories are only a dropped laptop or stolen mobile phone away from being lost forever.”

Senator Brandis told the media contingent that after reviewing commercial services currently available, the Government had decided to step in. “Some of these services aren’t even located in Australia. There was a real risk that data was being sent to ‘the cloud’. That’s not even a country.”

“We simply could not stand by while a generation of Australians lost their documents through a lack of a backup” added the Prime Minister. In addition to backup, the service will index all the data stored so that users can easily find their files when they need to. “Handily this helps copyright owners check their records of ownership against the backed up data so we can ensure that they have received every last cent they are owed” confirmed Senator Brandis.

A glossy brochure was distributed at the press conference, listing some of the other benefits of the service. In the future, people applying for public service positions will be able to let the government simply refer to their indexed backup instead of having to complete arduous selection criteria. When asked about the whereabouts of Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull, Prime Minister Abbott informed the press conference that he was “out negotiating a great deal on the hard drives required. Malcolm practically invented hard drives in Australia and knows a fair price when he sees it.”

Questioned about the security of the data stored on behalf of Australians, Senator Brandis said he would use a really strong password – “with those funny characters and everything” and would keep this written inside the cover of a random book on his parliamentary bookshelf. “I can’t give away which one, but it rhymes with twine-teen gatey-floor” said the winking Senator.